Having your friend on suicide watch...

Probably one of the scariest and nerve-testing things that I've gone through.

Looking someone straight in the eyes and knowing that they are planning on jumping out the 8th story window of their room, living one room away from yours, is so disheartening.

I've never felt more powerless and useless in my entire life. This poor fucking kid needs something that I nor anyone seemingly can. What do I fucking do? Sit back and watch this kid kill himself in front of my eyes?

Fuck.

 

Steal his drugs instead. Psyco-medicines too. Alcohol too. That's what I did to my girlfriend and she's now getting better and better.

People need love.


.

 

Give him prozac? Sounds like a depression to me. Sad bit is, good stuff can happen to him, but he'll be the last to believe luck is around the corner. It's kind of hard to imagine the sun will be shining tomorrow when it's raining cats and dogs today...

<Z>

 

if man to kil himself try, hav judicialinarianismication schreib ein 'restrayning orda' at man whou try kil him

it helped at me

i try sucide und kort orda giv me restraynin orda aginst me

 

tell the drama queen to get it over with or fuck off

 

NO!!! Exercising is way better.

 

There are some real classy people on this board. Now I know why I stopped going here as much.

 

What was Nike's motto???







But seriously, all you can do is try to help them out and make them feel better. And that can be very stressful because usually a single person has enough things to cope with in his/her own life let alone take on others. If the person (your friend afi) was stable in the past chances are they will again get back on the right track with a little help from loved ones and friends, but if they are needy all of the time (and not just money wise emotionally) it gets old fast. Remember this afi " a person should want to help them self to get better" or else thier isn't any real use. You'll find yourself having to help this friend over and over and over until (and I hate to say it) you finally say enough is enough! I wipe my hands clean from the whole situation. <S> and good luck.

 

Life is the shits
[and then you die]
Been there. I had a friend, long time ago, called me from his car. He was plannin on putting a big hose from the tailpipe into the passenger compartment.
He called to say godbye.
I never asked him if he called anyone else.
We talked for a long time on that phone. I asked him if he would be up to having a guy with way worse problems than he has taking him by the hand and proving to him that there are things around that make life worth giving a try.
I ended out babysitting him for a week.
I walk, I don't drive. I ride, I don't drive. I take a bus, I don't drive. I didn't want to die, We took a bus, or walked, or rode.
I took him to see animals in the bush, to listen to rain splatting off maple leafs. We put bulbs in his garden [WHAT GARDEN?? Well, the garden it became, later]. He never notice, after living in that old house for a couple years, that there were brown bats in the attic spaces. He saw them for the first time while I was there, babysitting.
After a week, his room mates got sick of me, told me to get out and that Ken was getting over it [Ken was just getting sick of me too, but didn't want to say so].

If you want to show your deathwishfriend life affirming things, KISS [Keep It Simple, Stupid] are the best, because they are obvious AFTER ya first notice em, easy to find when you NEED life affirming thingies and don't cost anything but some time and wet shoes.
Time is all we have.

 

My advice:

1) Get him to exercise. Get him off his ass -- play a sport, run, walk a lot, etc. At the very least, it will make him so tired he'll have no energy to do anything dumb.

2) Get him to understand that, if he stays off his ass and doesn't wait for the end, something good will probably happen.

 

Yeah, it is amazing how ass-sitting is considered 'symptomatic' of depression when, in reality, it is more often the other way around.

 

Not necessarily. I'm talking about short-term solutions. Once a person has stopped thinking about suicide, there is time to think, but not before that time has come, imho.

 

He does sports, that's the thing. He is the bassist in my band, and we tour a lot. We're doing a month in Canada and the southern US, and we practice a shitton.

He's already got stuff on his mind, but good advice otherwise Uncles, thank you.

 

I have had to deal with depression all my life. The ONLY way out of it, for me, is to find other things to think about, many things, diversions, activities.
I don't mean to fixate on some project and fanatically work it, like, say, a painting or a garden plowing... I mean divert with many things, as much activity as you can stand, and keep it up, day after day. When you finally need a rest from all that stuff you been doing, it is a nice rest, not a sitting-on-ass..

ONE THING I CANNOT STAND is how people, myself included, run to a doctor. Ya know something? I think it is better to run to an *understanding* clergyman than a doctor, a clergyman will not ever give you drugs or tell you you have a 'chemical imbalance' and then proceed to get you addicted to his latest bullshit drug.

I am a really grouchy guy. I have been drugged. I became docile. But I did not feel complete, not like 'myself.' Now I am not drugged, I am grouchy and I feel complete and whole, I don't feel possessed by a demon [Read Philip K Dicks stuff about that shit in a spray can].

* I mean a guy who is in the community and gives counsel and knows dogma won't save anyone. There are some clergy like that, not all of them are selling a bill of goods... ALL doctors sell goods, they SELL things, they give NOTHING away. ANd if you are addicted to an antidepressent, you are providing some scum with 100 bucks or more each month and having to 'renew' your prescription, with another visit to a 350 dollar an hour man....

Above, I said KISS. Doctors ain't KISS.

 

Biles, you are Roy Buchanan.

 

I prefer Pat Buchanan

 

Just explain that boy that some people will have to scratch the pavement with a shovel trying to remove his shit and brains mixed together. Ask him to show that to you and jump, but ask to wait a bit till you go down cause you adore to watch agony. If he is stupid enough, he will jump, and that will be mere natural selection in action and a good educative lesson for you. If not -- you've saved the day

 

Ask him to give you his wallet before he jumps.
Either he has to give you the $ or admit he is some attention seeking pussy.
You win both ways...
...Crying over it on the 'net is just beging for this crap, dont you know this by now?

 

This is gonna sound really strange, coming from me, but under certain conditions I'd consider letting him do to himself whatever he wants. You'll have to figure it out for yourself, mate

IF his desire to die is "true", IF he has been depressed for a long time AND life itself takes more energy then it gives him, I feel he has the right to end it all. What can I say? I'm just a fucking liberal.

Of course, if you feel this is a temporary situation and things will improve with time you owe it to yourself to do whatever you can to keep him from commiting suicide.

(I am depressed, so I have promised myself to end it quickly and cleanly if my situation takes a turn for the worse and stays that way for a prolonged time. I feel I have the right to make such a decision, and by god, if I ever get as sick as I was 2 years ago I WILL kill myself. Under some circumstances, you really ARE better of dead.)

Succes mate!

 

I wish this situation happened to some other people on this forum. Maybe then theyll start to think a bit before putting shit on everything.
i had once a housemate with a problem. you realise some things about life then.

afi, you know him well, it depends why is he unhappy? try to show him he could change that!
when i asked for advice on my depression from a friend (not suicide of course!) she told me this: "i like my depressions. they show to us what is it that we want from life, beyond what we deserve to get. they are very important for me."
So, if his unhappiness is because he is missing something from his life (love, nice parents, friends, girl, respect, professional goal?) - try to show him how to obtain it. Most often it involves changing yourself in some way and it takes some unusual steps and breaking of barriers that might make him interested in the process itself.



if he is unhappy with the people around him - tell him that he should perceive his relation with them in a different way. he might try to make presents to them (not literally of course, maybe just helping out or dressing nicely for them or gently noticing them, KISS) and not desire anything in return. the very process of creating opportunities to give something to the people you know is very rewarding. And at some point they will also notice you and slowly change their attitudes to you, getting more relaxed and sincere.
We have enormous power to change people around us!
Just do not "expect" for that. It is the very doing that gives happiness - expectations and desires lead to uncompleteness and unhappiness.
Essentially - convince him he has to change his attitudes and to look for the bats in his attic. He might start to discover many more nice things around.


And if he doesnt know why he is unhappy - maybe he is just subconsciously bored of everything around - try to put him in a completely different situation he hasnt experienced before. Go hiking in the wild as biles suggested, or go to dance classes or somewhere to meet a completely new sort of (friendly) people with different modus of communication from what he is used to. This might give a challenge and he might even like them and find reason to wait for tomorrow. You know - it might be arts studends or mountain shepherds or rustafarians, anything cool and contrasting with his known social circle.




(ok, this is all christian orthodox teaching, hope you will see the sense in it and how you can use it, despite disgust of religion)