HAPPY BIRTHDAY Oh! Country of Mine

Hey, we got those "pikes" in holland as well... They're called "snoek" here (pronounced "snooke", as in "snooker" but without the "r"). They're mean motherfuckers, but as most canals here are void of life (except for those "big goldfish" as Biles calls them) they're close to extinction.

We see a lot of rats nowadays, which also eat ducks.

 

sorry for offtopic

These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

1. Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

2. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

3. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

8. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

11. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A: You are an American politician, right?

14. Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

15. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets.

19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

21. Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

22. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! So Biles isn't the only funny Canuck! Unless....


Hey Biles, did you ever work for the Canadian Tourism Bureau?

 

hi,

it depends on how people understood, where is it patriotism or nationalism. the history of gemany show how the wrong way ends up!!!!!!!!!!
so i have a little problem with people who think their country stands above all others.
if someone is proud on the place where he lives, no problem with it !! but history show how small this line could be............

btw where are all the weapons the us army is searching for in the irak. maybe mr. bush will be searching in the united states. there will be enough to be found !

i am living in the northwest of germany, love scottish single malts, eat cheese from the netherland, love redwine from france and surfing the waves in spain, greece, denmark and the rest of our buitifull planet ! ...... german beer is not so bad, i like it, but i am not proud of it !

btw better take a look on other country and their people, you will see everywhere the good and some bad ...............

 

I loved a Surrey-girl
Hahaha. Guess where I am from? I wasn't born there, I was borne on the other side of the river, but I was raised there:
Surrey.

It is the size of some small countries. Original white inhabitants were the wives and children of convicts housed in the penetentury across the river (no, I was born in the HOSPITAL across the river).

I married a Surrey girl. I fell in love with her when I first met her. She had black tights on, a tank-top with a snake embroidered on it and a black leather jacket and matching purse. She could spit better than I could, distance, not accuracy.
Linda didn't like to get drunk. She liked to get blotto, pissed, smashed, out of her mind, falling down, slobbering, fighting, cops bring her home whacko.
Linda had a "lazy eye." I found it captivating. One eye, her right, would look this way and that, while the other one would focus. Then when she got into her booze, both her eyes would beocme like that. She really liked men. Wasn't judgemental about appearance. You could be a stink-breath savage with a pick-up truck and a gun collection and she thought nothing of it. But if you had no money, she would go to the next table at the bar and check out the stinky men there.
No one ever gave her cash for fellatio. Just get her real drunk and you could get it "for free."
Her ass was a big as a small planet. And looked great in those black tights she liked to wear. Like many women who have an ass the size of a planet, she would be offended deeply if a guy said to her, "Whoa, nice big ass you got, honey, I love chicks with planet-sized asses." And she would show anger and have her feelings hurt terribly, until you brought out your crack cocaine, then all would be forgiven.
The woman used to tell me, "The thing they say about african men is TRUE, Brad. It is NOT a myth.
She married me because she liked my friends. She fucked all of them. After she left, I noticed all my buddies were not coming over to visit, I thought I had done or said something wrong. For many years I felt bad. Then it became clear one day when I noticed my son had frizzy black hair, was seven feet tall and carrying a spear.
When she left me, she took my pickup truck, my tools, all the houseplants and my hunting rifles. And left the cat.
I love her still.
A Surrey-girl.

 

wow- cannuck gold pilots in the usa(me-262):

 

biles...it's a sad story...plz don't (?) post ones like these...it makes me depressed, especially when i return home "bombed"