I think it is H2 S... Um, what is the stuff that comes out of yer ass when ya ate baked beans, peanut butter, boiled eggs or all three? I wear this fuckin' red jacket, supposed to make me look trustworthy (to non-bad people) and intimidating to bad people. I dunno... All I know is when someone says to me, "hey, nice jacket," I get a shiver down my spine and I got an urge to brain the fucker with this big flashlight I carry... See, around these parts, saying, "hey, nice jacket," can be taken in a similar way to the statement, "Hey, nice hat..." I guess if you don't know what I am saying, yer either ignorant, or not from a land where men often fight over things said like that... Anyway, this is not about that... Except the fact many would never dream it is the guy with the red jacket doing what I am about to describe: The other day, I ate peanut butter on toast and had a couple eggs on some bread for my lunch and then I ate some beans while at work. Five oclock in the morning they let me out of there and then I got to wait until six to get a buss, seein' as the big fat bastards who engineer public transit here neither have to work nights OR for that matter TAKE the fuckin' bus anywhere.... By the time I get on the slug, I am pretty pissed off from waiting and waiting and waiting for years and years (yeah, YEARS, man, I been taking the fucking bus for a long long time). So, I got these REALLY stinky rotten farts (H2 S???)... And I sit down, there are a few on the bus, but not many. I sit down at the back of the bus so I can see, and I begin sliding out those silent ones, you know the ones? After a bit, some in the buss are NOTICABLEY uncomfortable. Others are acting nonchallant, you know?: "It wasn't me, I have changed diapers and don't care..." And "OH THE HORROR!: SOMEONE SHIT THEMSELF!!" It is this group I direected my attacks against. ANd as the bus filled, naturally, no one wants to tend to the back of the bus, they fill up the front first, so I had lots of time and many many kilometers to do the things I was doing. About halfway through the ride, the driver (one of the ones expressing "THE HORROR") stopped the bus and, I kid you not, said: "Who had an accident PLEASE leave the bus!" And a guy a couple seats up from me got up and went to the door... Fucking guy was OBVIOUSLY just getting off at that stop, but to everyone else on that bus, HE was the guy who was farting... Many on the sidewalk side of the buss gave him the finger as he walked and the bus drove off. I continued my farting, slowly, carefully, so I wouldn't be discovered. It is March here and STILL winter and people don't normally open the windows on public transit... Well, the windows WERE opened on the one I was on. I am in the library right now and don't have time to ad anything to this, I don't even have time to concoct a POINT or a MORAL to this story, and you that would bitch and complain and quote the whole PIECE TO PROVE IT'S COMPLETE LACK OF MERIT, WELL, NEVERMIND, JUST DON'T. I am gonna look for a couple buddies who are into it and we gonna drink stout all night and then have eggs before bed and we gonna go on the fuckin subway (no windows and driven by a robot who DON't stop the fucker).... Bye. I am Your's (homeless) Truly, Biles
I had a day like that not so long ago, out for a few pints with friends from work and no matter how I tried (not that I did actually try, but I told them I was trying) to stop it, I just couldnt stop letting rip with the worse possible silent-but-violent-rotten-egg type that turns your guts. It sure puts a smile on your face when your the culprit tho -glas-
Did you know that there is really a "close relative" chemical to Dihydrogensulphide (H2S) called Diammoniumsulphide that can be referred as "liquid fart". When it gets in contact with air, remais are ammonia and H2S, and the smell is... wonderful. I tried it in a bus too. Boy, did people look happy... And with a single drop!
Drink a litre of lemon-ade and chomp a dozen jalepenos with yer can-of-baked-beans meal and you get leakage, PAIN and some real nasty stink. It is something ya only do once.
Raw steak and copious amounts of whiskey do the trick equally well... You see, due to the alcohol your intestines only partially digest the steak. What comes out is the most obnoxious stench known to man.
