I got some nice shit. The Glenlivet. It is like, uh... 45 bucks. Expensive. I would have gotten some shit there that was something I hadn't heard of [that costed 80 bucks] but, well, I didn't have 80 bucks. So, I brought the stuff home and some other crap that don't matter, some beer. I went upstairs. The Catholic woman up there with the 14 children, she likes Whiskey. I told her I am gonna give her a treat. So I went up there and offered her and her Catholic husband a drink. Well, he only drinks canned shittybeer. And so he said, sorry, no. She said, "I have an eye infection and am eating pennicillin, no thanks...Oh, what ya got?" I showed her. She changed her mind. And you know what I did with my first fuckin drink? IT WENT INTO MY AIRHOLE. Fuck. And you know,that ruins the whole Scotch Whisky thing, right? Down the fuckin airhole. Fuck. didn't even want to sit with those Catholics and finish my drink, but I had to. So, I had something to eat and now I am going to bed.
There's lots of things you shouldn't do when you drink scotch, like take the protective plastic portion off your cuisinart and then stick your cock right on the blades and then let your finger rest on the "ON" switch, sit in a room with the lights out and wait for someone to burst open the door and say "HEY!!" at which point you will jump and your finger will hit the on switch and .. n/m yeah it's bad enough to get a little piece of peanut butter on a cracker to go down the airpipe. You have to lean over and cough hard as you can to blow that thing up fast, get it out fast. You get scotch down there it burns. yeah there are a lot of $80.00 bottles of scotch like that mcallans and then theres these speyside malts that come in nice boxes..
canadians drinking scotch is like john holmes' wife saying "you know, i think i'll fuck a japanese guy", except more pretentious, like maybe instead she'd say "you know, i think i'll fuck a japanese guy and then maybe the emperor will come over and say 'you're one of us now'"
Even the fact of a canadian acting pretentious is fuckin pretentious. Well. I should just crawl back into my snowcave and turn on the television and watch the rest of the world be successful, cultured and wise, while I dream up new, more brilliant ways to steal logging machinery and spend quiet time convincing my dog that peanut butter is tastey and should be licked, not chewed.
nah what should happen is that the whole house of lords should come over and give you a rim job and beg for some CC to replace that other shit that taste like if someone vomited in an ashtray and then it sat out for two weeks in the summer and that is what would happen if anyone gave a crap about anything other than how much to bottle cost or if it had MacGlenn on the side
CC isn't drank by canadians. It is only drank by stupid foriegners who wouldn't know a good whiskey from a yard of vomit.
is that so, Sir Saliva Enema? i guess you're probably right, it says on the bottle queen victoria liked it and she was a fukken kraut
I think Albert was either a Kraut or one of those Herring Eaters. he was a cheap bastard [being a German or a Dutchman - they are the cheapest cocksuckers in Europe [unless you count the fuckin Scots - a Scotsman is so cheap [scotch] he wouldn't bribe a hangman to save his own mama]]. Anyway, ALbert was the wife in that family and sometimes, he was the husband. Vicky was a regular, albeit ugly, woman, so Al never had to bend over and take it up the ass, but, on the other hand, she made him do the weekly shopping. This is why, until Prince Albert died, Vicky had to suffer drinking Australian Plonk. It was after he died, when Vicky began to get her nookie and shopping done by a certain John Brown, that she was introduced to Scotch Whiskey. She thought "Scotch" meant 'cheap' and so allowed him to open it in her presence. He never told her how much it cost and she never looked [being a Queen]. Saliva Enema!!!! HAHAHAHA.
Rudeboy: He was no herirng-eater. And yeah, we're cheap bastards here. You know how we invented copper wire? Two Dutch farmers arguing over a cent.. But anyways, the Glenlivet is an OK single malt but it ain't super. If you can spare the cash, try a bottle of Ardbeg or Bowmore. Now THAT's whisky!