Official Off-Topic Flooding Thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic International' started by Harpoon, Aug 15, 2004.

  1. jotaceTOGA

    jotaceTOGA Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2003
    Messages:
    1,026
    Location:
    Florianopolis, Santa Catarina, Brasil
    5001 that looks like 5000 when you see on the main list!!
     
  2. -exec-

    -exec- FH Consultant

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2000
    Messages:
    24,690
    Location:
    xUSSR
  3. -al---

    -al--- Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2005
    Messages:
    6,848
    Location:
    Poznań
    that has to be the lamest attempt at a milestone EVER :)
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. Asmumy

    Asmumy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    427
    Location:
    São Paulo, Brasil
    [​IMG]
     
    3 people like this.
  5. Red Ant

    Red Ant Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2002
    Messages:
    4,946
    Location:
    Germany
    HOW TO POO AT WORK

    We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POO is inevitable.

    For those who hate pooing at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

    CROP DUSTING
    When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

    FLY BY
    The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and check for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

    ESCAPEE
    A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an ESCAPEE, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

    JAILBREAK
    When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

    COURTESY FLUSH
    The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poo has to stink up the bathroom.This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

    WALK OF SHAME
    Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

    OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER
    A colleague who poos at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an OUT OF THE CLOSET enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER before entering the bathroom.

    THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
    A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooing goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOERS, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

    SAFE HAVENS
    A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your sex entering the bathroom.

    TURD BURGLAR
    Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

    CAMO-COUGH
    A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

    ASTAIRE
    A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in peace.

    WATERMELON
    A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

    HAVANA OMELETTE
    A case of diarrhoea that creates series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try using CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

    UNCLE TED
    A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
     
  6. -redw-

    -redw- Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2002
    Messages:
    577
    Location:
    Germany
    1'st xmas wish in 2008 ...

    if it doesn't get you in the mood for Santa Claus, you're hopeless.
    The song was originally recorded by the Drifters in 1954.
    Pump up the volume - these reindeer sing.

    http://www.thecompassgroup.biz/merryxmas.swf

    Season's Greetings!
     
  7. Ricedd_EEB

    Ricedd_EEB Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2003
    Messages:
    1,539
    Location:
    Porto Alegre - Republica Rio-Grandense
    Man, I dont believe this still exist!!!

    how are you guys???
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. -redw-

    -redw- Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2002
    Messages:
    577
    Location:
    Germany
  9. fatale

    fatale Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,796
    Location:
    Check Republic
  10. -cbfs-

    -cbfs- Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2003
    Messages:
    1,940
    Location:
    Where the flowers bloom like madness in the spri-i
  11. Asmumy

    Asmumy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    427
    Location:
    São Paulo, Brasil
    Deutsches Wochenchau!!!!!
    (German Newsreel)
    I love that kind of vid.

    I know an user of youtube from Brazil, had an account 'irbergui'
    had 450 vid of DW.

    His account were deleted from youtube :((

    Now he upload videos with this new acc:
    http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=WW2GermanNewsreels
    and skoblin is one who shares these videos.
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2008
  12. Asmumy

    Asmumy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    427
    Location:
    São Paulo, Brasil
  13. mumble

    mumble Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Messages:
    1,315
    Location:
    in a bar
    Some fun music (in english). It even has a few mp3 of some songs that are pretty funny. There's even a song about mcloud in there. I'll leave it to you to figure out which one it is. FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T LISTEN TO THIS AT WORK!

    http://www.dosgringosrocks.com/music.html
     
  14. spuint

    spuint Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2003
    Messages:
    4,736
  15. fatale

    fatale Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,796
    Location:
    Check Republic
    What explain? Our best singer :D
     
  16. vojtas

    vojtas Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2002
    Messages:
    1,801
    Location:
    Ur anus
    [​IMG]
     

    Attached Files:

    • 1.gif
      1.gif
      File size:
      59.1 KB
      Views:
      298
  17. fatale

    fatale Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,796
    Location:
    Check Republic
    the best is dancing Ivo Pesak :)
     
  18. -cbfs-

    -cbfs- Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2003
    Messages:
    1,940
    Location:
    Where the flowers bloom like madness in the spri-i
    I know that FranzAugust is familiar with this - here's the most hilarious video I have managed to find regarding the action of 'Anonymous':

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxWgRY1I_SI (mother part = epic lulz!)

    (They're also fighting Scientologists :@prayer: :dura: )
     
  19. Vlamik

    Vlamik Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2002
    Messages:
    797
    Location:
    Democratic Republic of Zangrovia
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2008
  20. jotaceTOGA

    jotaceTOGA Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2003
    Messages:
    1,026
    Location:
    Florianopolis, Santa Catarina, Brasil