CBFS!: Why the fuck is it every time I read any of the crap you post, no matter what it is, no matter how inane, poorly written or ppointleessssssss... I feel youthful, vital, agressive and aroused? Hmmmmmm I been puzzlin over it. And too. It didn't used to happen. It is new. I been growin hair on my back for a few years. My heart pounds a tattoo when I step over a curb. The bags under my eyes droop so low, they look like jowls. But lately, ONLY lately, any crap this bugger posts arouses me and makes me feel like A NEW MAN. Bastard. I been wonderin what the fuck he did. Is it a beer beam? Some electronic trick? Say, like, um, a rapid flashing of some sort of wave length? The Woman Who Is Always Here says: "Brad, go find some crap that goof posted and look at it for two seconds so we can go fuck for the rest of the night!" Last Saturday, I looked at a post by that guy and then, on a whim, I went outside and beat the crap out of the crack dealin Vietnamese plaid wearin fuck who lives next door, AFTER I ATE HIS PIT BULL[TERRIER]. Then I burned his car and swung from trees and watched, hangin like an ape, from a hundred feet up, as the fire department came to put out the fire and shovel his mortal remains into a bag. My tonails ain't yellow and crinkly no more. Okay. I found out what the tonic is, what the Fuckin Secret This Fuckin Guy Is Beaming At Me From Whatever the fuck country he is from is.... Quickly zaps the flappy skin hangin under my fore arms
Brad can kill with you with words. When I saw my name there I expected exactly that. I shivered. I got cold sweat. I gulped. And then I clicked. It IS love! Fuck, I love that movie! Too bad everytime I watch it my brother gives me the we-found-you-in-a-trash-can look.
Do ya know anyone who knods they head when yer talkin to em? Do ya know anyone who keeps sayin "Uh huh. Uh huh." When yer talkin to em? Ever spend five minutes talkin to someone who says "Uh huh. Uh huh." And knoddin they heads and then you come to the part where you say, "So, what would you have done?" And they look at you with that fuckin "I am a retard who was knodding my head and sayin 'Uh huh' when I didn't understand a single thing!" look? The Woman Who Is Always Here says, "Why ya laughing?" when I was lookin at some of the responses here. So I explain. I began with... "Didja ever go see the movie 'Rocky Horror Picture Show?'" And she knodded. And I said, "Remember flyin toast and squirt guns and people dressed in drag there? And some were dressed as white leather clad bikers? And some wore nasty torn dead people zombie clothes?" And she said, "Uh huh." And then I started given her an account of how much fun I had while attending the Rocky Horror Show a hundred or so times at this movie house here that pretty well showed nuthing BUT the Rocky Horror Show for the last few years it stood, before they went and tore it down. And, after about five minutes of expounding on all the good times.... I noticed she had this "I am a fucking retard" look. A certain glazed look people sometimes get when they realise the talk they is listen to is at a grade four level, instead of the kindetgarten level they is capable of. You know the look. FUCK! If you know anything about The Rocky Horror Show, you will know that a retarded person should never claim to have seen the movie and involve themselves in a conversation about and keep on knodding they head and sayin "Uh huh." I stopped, in the middle of describin my black lace jock strap, the big bag full of toast and my most excellent ten dollar squirt gun and stared at her, aghast.... I asked her: "STOP that: Did you ever see the movie?" And she knodded her fuckin head again. "NO no no no. THE MOVIE. Spell it M O V I E." And she knodded her fuckin head again. And I said "TOAST." and I said "Squirt Guns." and she kept fuckin knodding. So why was she givin me the "Oh fuck, here he goes again...." look? She said "I saw it with my son!" And a light went BLINK over my pointy little head. SHE SAW THE FUCKIN VIDEO. NOT THE MOVIE. M O V I E M O V I E I am not intellectually compatable with this fuckbrain here. Grrrrrrrrrrr. At least I can tell a stupid guy: FUCK ARE YOU EVER STUPID! but oh no. You say that to a woman and she gets all angry as if you are just sayin it to insult her. I wasn't tryin to insult her. I was stating a FACT.
Nope. You got lost somewhere too. Not gay shit at all. It is about The Rocky Horror Show. You should go there sometime. If it is shown anywhere in whatever the fuck country your from. And bring some toast. Don't put butter or margerine or jelly on it. That is JUST PLAIN WRONG. Bring a squirt gun. Dress in your woman's bra and gaunch [or your own bra and gaunch! ]. Wear a trench coat. Or try to look like a corpse. If you go to see The Rocky Horror Show and you do NOT look like a freak or a dead guy or a transvestite or a big fat biker, YOU will be stared at, you will be scorned. People might even say to you, What the fuck is wrong with you?
WHOA!!!! DUDE!!!!!!! "SEE" the movie??? "SEE" ?????? You do NOT go to the theatre to SEE RHPS. One goes there to BE the movie. It's a participation event. Find somewhere where it will play, maybe this Halloween or somthin'.... and get her to do the time warp again!
Aw this woman screwed herself up in the sixties. She wouldn't bring toast there, because she IS toast. There are two sorts of women it seems. There are the ones who are only good for a select few tasks, then there are The Others. And The Others are usually too choosey. I like the ones who roll in the dirt when they is partyin and say 'fuck' sometimes and have fallen down their share. These ones often go nowhere. Just Like Me. And chicks with brains is dangerous. Maybe I will bring her. Then again, she is pretty stupid and might spoil the whole thing.
Eh, I went to about four or five "midnight madness" showings of that flick when I was still alive, and I can't remember diddly about it, 'cause everyone was drunk. But I can still hear the melody of that "let's do the timewarp...again" in my shattered brain. Lotsa people throwing stuff, degenerates and what not, lol I used to prefer easily understood movies, such as "Kentucky Fried Movie," with that skit Catholic High School Girls in Trouble :0
