Getting [deleted] in Lion's Club Housing

Discussion in 'Off Topic International' started by hezey, Dec 8, 2014.

  1. hezey

    hezey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2010
    Messages:
    2,319
    Location:
    British Columbia, Canada
    So, old lady here croaked. She was Bonnie, doesn't matter, I helped her move her book shelves, they were too high, she couldn't get to them. So I helped her.
    She is a nice little old lady.
    I went to her funeral last week.

    Sigh.

    God bless the old gal.

    After the funeral everyone from my apartment complex, where she lived, was invited to tea.

    Met some people there, from my complex, where I live.
    Then some of us went to the pub.

    At the pub, the pints tasted good, Anne, from apartment 40x [never mind] watched me as I walked back from the pisser, she made a prprprprprprprrrrrrr sound, like a uh, you know the sound? Sound of an aggressive woman.

    Hmmm, she is OLD.

    I said something polite, and she said, Why don't you sit here with me, have a drink?
    I thought, What the hell, why not?

    Well, she was as aggressive as I had judged her to be, and not so old, uh, same age as me. I thought she WAS OLD.
    Well, I guess I am.
    We had a ball, her and I, lots of laughs.
    Getting on to uh, Should I Stay Or Should I Go? time. I really didn't want to get drunk, so was thinking about leaving, and so was she when I said I was gonna go home.
    I said, Uh, you are leaving, why? You can stay with your friends here. And she said, no, They are a bunch of old fogies...... can't handle their drinks sit around waiting to die. They don't know how to live it up nor *get it up.*
    And she winked.
    I felt weirdness in my belly. You know how it is, eh?
    I said, They uh, uh, don't, uh live it up? Uh.... [what does the rest of it mean? I didn't ask]....
    [I was thinking, OH GOD NO]
    And she leaned over, so know-one could hear and she whispered, I will make you a cup of soup, [deleted] your [deleted], and then send you home. How's that?
    Hmmmmmm. Suddenly she didn't seem so old.
    :@popcorn:
    I really like living here.
    NOT dying, LIVING.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2014
  2. Mcloud

    Mcloud Well-Known Member

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    Messages:
    2,446
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    a worthwhile read.
    so what exactly did she say she would do after she made you a cup of soup? do your dishes?
    If it was something sexual, I'd stay away from here, she's a retard. Normal women have no interest in sex at all. They are into advertising sex, spending money on clothes to find Mr. right etc., They wouldn't give a guy a hummer ever in their life unless they thought it would lead to some sort of relationship with Mr. Right. (a guy with money).
     
  3. hezey

    hezey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    2,319
    Location:
    British Columbia, Canada
    She has her own money.
    She didn't seem a retard, or insane, but she may be as good at hiding that sort of thing as I [think I] am.
    Is what we did sex?
    Well, was a chubby little Jew* under a President's desk sex? The prez said it wasn't...
    She said it was.

    *hey, would ya?
    I mean her...
    [​IMG]

     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2014
  4. Uncles

    Uncles Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    3,787
    Location:
    Post-American USA
    PhotoShop? At any rate, Monica Lewinsky is/was always much more sexy than Hillary. And now Xillary Klinton will become the next USA president, so we I hope we get to hear more about the "mentoring" that ex-pres Bill gave to Monica ;)

    Kennedys, Bushes and Clintons (and < 30 years, more Obamas).The US can now only have leaders from those families?!

    Chelsea Clinton/Mezvinsky married into a wonderful family, so it'll be fun to see her be the first president with two criminal families. Her husband's family has an interesting legal history:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Mezvinsky

    Not that one's family determines one's future, but if this is democracy, who needs tyranny?
     
  5. hezey

    hezey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    2,319
    Location:
    British Columbia, Canada
    The photo album I show, below, seems to be somewhat authentic, expect in that sort of business there is always some Photoshopping.

    This is mixed up with other photoes of Moneyca Jewinski in them too, some of them are okay pictures to [deleted] while looking at. No, not the ones of her, the others, who are useful. I don't have any use for Jewish tigresses, not even if I had one of my own, in the office. I know better.
    Some of those pictures have nothing to do with Moneyka Jewsinki. Sorry, but most of them are kinda arousing, if you are into that sort of thing [PUSSY!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!! get with the program!]
    Even thinking the name *Chelsea Clinton* would cause me Erectus Interuptus.
    or uh
    Cockus Dissapearus Backinpantses Syndrome [another symptom cluster sold in the DSM as a _drug-able_ 'disease']
    Erectile Dysfunction Instantaneous-ness Disorder DSM 666.66.B.J [no pill will treat the symptoms].
    I think other Yankee dynasties are Jew Fuckers too. Jews breed outside the herd because they have to, they are all cousins and you know what that leads to.
    BACK ON TOPIC
    In my building is where the BC Gov houses the NUTCASES who used to, in the old days, spend they days in a nuthouse. Now-a-days, few get sent to a nuthouse for long, they get chemical lobotomy [pills addictions, so they remain doctor complaint [like being heroine dealer compliant] and then farmed out 'into the community.']
    My building is part of that, 25 out of 100 in his building are twitching mumbling crazy mother-fuckers - and dad-fuckers....
    FUCK, I DIDN'T KNOW, and it is three years for me to get another deal for cheap rent, FUCK.
    BUT people here are horny. My grandad told me that In 'the home' people get horny and show it, and use their horns too, he said, Nohin to lose, look around, see? What do those people have to lose? Their virginity? Get stretch marks? WHAT?
    Oh son, there is lots of sex in this place, you should come visit more often, I can set you up, they even have showers!
    Where was I?
    There is a almost bald chick was in my complex, at first I thought, Hmm, I would fuck her!
    I was kinda on the make and acting like I was interested in females for their personalities.
    She had a weird haircut, it was cut short like a recruit. Her face is kinda pretty, I thought, still, I would fuck her.
    Skinny. Still I thought, I would fuck her.
    I was pretending to listen to her, not so much to be polite, but because I was thinkin, I would fuck her.
    SO she told me a bit about herself. And I pretend to listen because well, you know, I was thinkin, I would fuck her.
    She said, Know why my hair is like this?
    I said, Uh, [no] did you donate it for breast cancer women?
    She said, Oh, no, I have a hair pulling disorder!
    [FUCK]
    I said, pretending to be interested, What is that?, Already having a good idea.
    And she told me and my good idea was pretty much spot on.
    Self hatred, like a suffering zoo animal that self abuses, or a convict, or a television watching girls who has gobbled up too much Barbie Girl stream of anorexic princess bullshit [Murika, HELL YAEH!]
    I backed away, gently, still pretending interest when we met while out and about.
    Oh, she noticed my lack of enthusiasm, I have to go do my shopping now. See ya! Oh surely!
    I didn't see her for a while.
    And then, I did so see her, out and about, I asked her How the hell are ya, Barb [yes, her name, Barbie, get it?]
    And, having been fooled into thinkin I give a fuck, she began to tell me about her latest adventures.
    She has gone to the nut ward to have her meds adjusted.
    I pretended interest and said, Oh? Why the need, you are so nice, so wonderful, so valuable, so worth a million, so pretty, so nice!
    I didn't want to be her reason to slash her wrists, she has to find someone else to lay that bullshit onto.
    I asked, So, how did it work out?
    She pulled off her toque [a type of wool cap loved by Canucks] and her recruit hair cut had polka-dots. Hmmm. She said, See my gloves?
    Uh, yeah, sure, uh......
    See the braselets?
    Uh, those look like hospital bracelets.
    They are, Tom, I go see a Mental Health Nurse and have a pair of gloves put on me and those bracelets wrapped around the wrist to show whether I have been pulling my hair, I can't yank out my hair with these gloves on, see? The 'Doctor' is worried. He also gave me a prescription for
    [I don't remember, some poision from YankeePharma] and says it will treat the symptoms of my hair pulling disorder.

    So[I am good at this], hoping to get her off the track, to change her feelins, from Ooooooooooooh, to FUCK OFF YOU RUDE BASTARD!!!!:

    I said, Honey, you don't have a hair pulling disorder, you have need to get fucked, fucked good, and hugged and kissed and do my dishes disorder.

    She gave me a puppy look, you know hose eyes? Her lips visibly changed shape and got thickened, engorged, you seen it, right, when they do that? And she sighed, the word swoon comes to mind, uh, except I don't know what _swoon_ means, uh.... chick version of a hardon, she said.Would ya?
    [no need for the rest of the story, it is boring]

    She moved away a month or so ago.

    NO, I DID NOT FUCK HER.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2014