Ive decided. that as much as i love cars, i will never love them as much as the one girl in my life. as much as she rejects me, or makes excuses, my cars are machines, my heart beats with them, when a car dies, it has no life, my heart doesnt, where as its sad for me to admit, i truely beleive my heart is owned by one woman.....I dont know what to do. The cars I control, but I dont control her.
No dude, no matter what, if she finds another guy, or she finds another life, I will always have an internal tear, and a space in my heart for me. and it kills me because im not worthy....and i dont know what to do. and for being so early in my life, shes a controlling force, and it just wants to make me cry.
Time for my timely update....well guys, ive been bested. Ive become a drunk. I cant wait till my next dollar goes twords killing feelings. I went back to a job dishwashing just to make the next dime....I still love cars, but somehwere the passion died, I dont know what to think anymore, where I once had strong love and passion, i really dont care for anything anymore....I dont know why, and it makes me angry, but I cant get excited about anythign, I have no passion for anything.....its like, where is life if I dont have a pull twords anyting anymore???? I have a feeling Im one of those cases where life ends early...sad shit, im sure, but what the fuck. If I cant care, who does?
@allsop: don't worry. Having a broken heart is just a passage rite to manhood. Booze and time will is a proper treatment for it.
All because of the girl. Many have been there and have done that. There's no cure, no cure apart from another girl, or just letting time go over it. <Z>