I'm sane after all.

Discussion in 'Off Topic International' started by Mcloud, Oct 2, 2022.

  1. Mcloud

    Mcloud Well-Known Member

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    I was out for a walk through the local cemetery just to talk to myself and I bumped into a lady that wouldn't shut up. She went on for 10 minutes about how years ago her son climbed up on top of a tennis court bubble and then took a knife and cut through the bubble and fell about 50 feet down and was killed. She kept saying that the guy he was with that day told him to do it and that he was a nut job and that she always wanted him charged with murder. Apparently this happened like 30 years ago just because this guy didn't like her sons dog and that he was crapping all over this guys lawn and was barking all the time, and her son owed this guy 100 bucks too.:rolleyes:

    Now she was looking for her son's tombstone but said she couldn't find it anymore, she asked me if I thought that someone moved it, and I said No they're not going to do that :rolleyes:, she looked at me like I had brain cancer. I remember saying that it was a good thing they incinerated my mother because if they would have buried her I'd probably dig her up and bash her brains out with some sort of crowbar. Then she started saying how Covid was coming back and people were wearing masks again and she said she was gonna start wearing them at the grocery store because there was a lot of pakis handling the food there and all that. Crazy pakis. So I told her to have a nice day and kept on walking.

    Then a cop car slowly came into the cemetery and the cop rolled down his window and asked me if I had seen a guy fitting my description in the area during the last week, because they wanted to ask him if he liked dogs. I said No and he said OK and drove out of the cemetery. Crazy cops. Then I kept walking along and I noticed that someone had put up a notice on a piece of paper and taped it to a big oak tree that said that there was a man in the area fitting my description who said that he was uttering threats against her dog and said he was gonna break her dogs legs like a fuckin piece of KFC, and that if anybody saw this guy they should call the cops. :rolleyes: Crazy bitch. Time to move.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2022
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  2. -frog-

    -frog- Well-Known Member

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    Did these legs really break like friggin piece of KFC, or did they require a lil more effort on your part? ;)
     
  3. vasco

    vasco Well-Known Member

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    I don't think Mac is the animal abuser type.


    I think he mostly goes to cemeteries to flash his willy at mourners. :D
     
  4. -frog-

    -frog- Well-Known Member

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    I don't think I am.
    But ever since my neighbour bought a large Alsatian and uses it to shit in the lawn in front of my porch, I am less self-assured in this respect (although I'll most likely prefer to beat the shit out of that dumb cocksucker, and not his dog).
    I have a small bin shelter next to my gate - I even hanged some poo bags there, inviting the neighbours to use them whenever they need them (many people here do - it also means you are free to use that guys bin to get rid of the "problem") - did not work.
    I've tried to reason with the guy, but he rejects any responsibility, claiming it was not his dog.
    He's also a head shorter than I am, and small build... so I guess once I catch him shitting his dog, I will simply get a baggie and shove it in his pocket.

    I do have a dog.
    There's a dog in every third house (or so), where I live.
    Everyone cleans up after theirs, just not that dumbass.
     
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  5. vasco

    vasco Well-Known Member

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    Cool custom.
    No idea if they do it here too in any neighborhoods. My homes are in the deep countryside, where the dogs roam free and nobody's bothered about shit, and in the middle of the city, where such bags would certainly get stolen.
     
  6. -frog-

    -frog- Well-Known Member

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    I've only noticed it here, in the suburbs.
    Previously I lived in a semi-detached house, much closer to the city centre, and no one did so.
    And the shortage of parking spaces was such, that - on numerous occasions - I had to drive Frau's car to work, just because one of my two driveways was blocked by someone.
    Where I live can't be referred to as "deep countryside" - we've got a bus stop less than 200 metres away, my daughter goes to the nearby school on her feet, we drive the younger one to the nearby preschool, and when I drive it takes me 20 minutes to get to the city centre, when I commute it takes me 30 (but I have all the forums read, all the news channels visited, so these 30 minutes are more productive than 20 behind the wheel). Yet the people here are nicer than those "in the city" - we "pal" each other, and live in a sort of a larger community, that seems to encompass everyone, but that dog-shitter.
     
  7. OldUncles

    OldUncles Well-Known Member

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    [QUOTE="-frog-]
    I do have a dog.
    There's a dog in every third house (or so), where I live.
    Everyone cleans up after theirs, just not that dumbass.[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, we have similar problems in my neighborhood. Here the dogs and cats are mostly well behaved, because they have petit bourgeoisie owners without children who dote upon their pets. Their pets are their children, essentially. There's a park here with a special dog area. It's so weird. It reminds me of my childhood when parents would take their children to parks and congregate. Now I see young couples driving an SUV to a park just to let their annoying little dogs run around. More dogs than children. What's up with that? Much respect to you and V for having children and living unselfish lives.
     
  8. vasco

    vasco Well-Known Member

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    Kids, dogs, cats, horses, spiders etc - if one loves any of those, it's all that matters.
     
  9. -frog-

    -frog- Well-Known Member

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    People don't have children anymore.
    It's particularly noticeable here, in Poland.
    My grandmother passed away this January, aged 91.
    She had 2 children and 5 grandchildren in total... but only 2 great-grandchildren.
    My sister is 41 and childless, my mother's niece is 41 and childless, my mother's nephews (both) are 35+ and childless.
    I am the only one, who has children in this branch/generation of the family.

    My sister lives in Germany, has a career, and a big nice flat in a townhouse. She recently bought a plot of land, to build a small house with a garden there.
    Our cousin (my uncle's daughter) lives near Lisbon, has a big, empty house on a cliff overlooking the Atlantic Ocean.
    Both of the remaining cousins are "living it to the max" - I see them mostly on facebook - climbing a glacier on Spitspergen, sailing in the Caribbean, trekking the Himalaya (one has a small, but well-running company to finance that, the other has a captain's license, so he spends half of the year sailing with rich customers, to spend the other half travelling).

    So I guess this won't change, not anymore.
     
  10. Mcloud

    Mcloud Well-Known Member

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  11. looseleaf

    looseleaf Well-Known Member

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    Frog, very simple. My friend had a similar problem. Some lady would bring her dog to his front yard to drop its load on his lawn. He also had a dog very well trained and when he would go walking his dog he would always have bags and dispose of anything. Finally one day he catches the lady and dog depositing on his lawn and the lady is belligerent insisting she is not responsible. He walks up to her and says, " How would you like it if I come to your house and take a shit on your front lawn?" Now my friend is about 2 meters tall and 125kilograms and he spoke with such a convincing manner she had no doubt that he would not hesitate to make good on such a visit. From then on the lady walked by very quickly and her dog never stopped at all at his house.

    After sharing this story with other friends one of them related his experience. This friend confronted the dog owner dropping and walking away. He approached the owner and said also in a very calm but stone cold convincing way: "If you ever come back here again, I will take that and put it back in your dog.". The dog and owner were never seen again.
     
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