OT: lifelong learning

Discussion in 'Off Topic International' started by Mcloud, May 16, 2011.

  1. Mcloud

    Mcloud Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2003
    Messages:
    2,438
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    We are all on a path in life. Where that path goes, no one really knows, except that it will eventually end in death, after about 75 years.

    Right now, my life path has taken me to real estate, and I am learning.
    here are some statements that I have made lately, some work better than others. I hope nothing I say violates the real estate business and brokers act, or the Canadian real estate code of ethics or anything like that..

    ;)

    1. "You know Mrs. Jones, I really like your living room. It's nice and big, like my cock"

    2. "Wow, these hardwood floors are really hard, like my cock"

    3. "Is that your dog? you better get it away from my nice pants or I will snap it's fuckin' back legs buddy, I've done it before."

    4. "If this cheque bounces, you're fuckin meat."

    5. "Your roof leaks? Really? I wish you would have told me that before you signed the listing agreement. Do you have the name of the guy that did the roof? you still have his card? Excellent!! I'll put that fuck out of business in 2 months, I have the email adresses of every realtor, general contractor and home improvement company in a 30 mile radius, I'll send an email out to about 400 people that this guy is a goof. I'll be speaking at the board of trade next Friday at a luncheon. Trust me, he's history, that cocksucker. Pardon? Oh yes, 1 milk, 1 sugar Mrs. Hanes, that'll be fine. My what a lovely Steinway"

    6. "My commssion rate is 5%, if you want something less than that you will have to deal with a paki from Toronto, have fun."

    7. "I'm tellin you right now this place needs to be completed aerated. You need to open up every window in this place for about 2 weeks, I don't care how cold it gets. That's one thing you fuckin pakis don't understand, the people who are moving in here don't like the fuckin way your house smells, understand? no more fuckin' curry goat cock for 3 months, got it? get some lysol for your toilets and everything else. I want this place smelling like a lemon tree. Fuck's sakes. Fuckin' pakis. I'm not spending two fuckin cents on a newspaper ad until this place is like the white house. Not the Paki house. Get some Irish spring soap, you fuckin' stink. You want me to sell this house for 20 bucks? I'll do it, I don't give a fuck about you or this house, you're the last paki I'm dealing with. Go to my website in about a week, it's gonna say "click here if you are a paki", and you're gonna get sent to fuckin goatbang.com or somethin' like that buddy. Your wife stinks too. Tell your kids to clean this fuckin' place up or I'm gonna stomp on that playstation thing. We're supposed to be working together, that means you fuckin do what I say cuz you don't know fuckin anything. just clean this place up, next time I come here it better smell like Irish spring soap, or you're gonna get fuck all from a buyer, I'll take the downpayment cheque and you will have nothing, you fuckin paki.

    8. To be continued...
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2011
  2. Zembla JG13

    Zembla JG13 FH Beta Tester

    Joined:
    May 8, 2001
    Messages:
    4,791
    Location:
    .be
    Good thing you're so levelheaded. Might blow a gasket otherwise.

    Meh, people have it coming to them. I do presume you find some subtle way of explaining their idiocy?

    -Z
     
  3. looseleaf

    looseleaf Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    5,026
    "Yes, you MUST repaint the entire house."

    "Nevermind cleaning the sink, fridge, washing machine, dish washer, garbage disposal, toilet, shower or shower doors, just replace them all...
    ....with NEW ones."


    "Look, you wanna sell this dump to white people, do as I tell you."

    "Otherwise your only chance is to sell this to another paki... and you know
    what THAT means. "


    :D