I sang to your mum because im sexy and I do what I want

Try this out and post the results

Pick the month (number) you were born in:

1 I fell in love with
2 I ate a
3 I smacked
4 I sang to
5 I gave my number to
6 I murdered
7 I shot
8 I gave a lap dance to
9 I choked on
10 I *****ed out
11 I had sex with
12 I humped

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1 A homeless guy
2 your mom
3 a banana
4 a fork
5 a Mexican
6 a gangster
7 a hooker
8 an ipod
9 my best friends boyfriend
10 a goat
11 my dog
12 a ninja
13 the computer
14 a football player
15 my neighbour
16 myself
17 a can of soda
18 a llama
19 a pickle
20 a stuffed animal
21 a permanent marker
22 my dad
23 a condom
24 my psychiatrist
25 a policeman
26 my brother
27 my sister
28 a baseball bat
29 a DVD player
30 a paperclip
31 my cell phone

Pick the colour of top you are wearing:

White Because I was high.
Black Because I was drunk.
Pink Because I'm NOT homosexual.
Red Because the voices told me to.
Blue Because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green Because I hate myself.
Purple Because I'm naked.
Gray Because that's how I roll.
Yellow Because someone offered me $1 million
Brown Because i like it like that.
Orange Because I hate my family.
Other Because that's how I roll.

 

I fell in love with A homeless guy Because I'm sexy and I do what I want

 

I gave my number to a policeman becuose i was drunk ... lol

 

I shot an ipod because I was drunk...

 

I humped a pernament maker because someone offered me $1 million...

wishful thinking

 

I gave a lap dance to my best friends boyfriend because I was high.

I need to become a narco junk.

 

I shot my dog Because that's how I roll.

 

I fell in love with my neighbour because i was drunk

 

Now Im gonna cut my wrists...

 

I gave a lap dance to a can of soda because someone offered me $1 million

hey, why not, for $1 million I can lap dance to a whole 6-pack

 

My woman and I did it in an elevator, VERY quickly. Just because it was there.
And too, the little cameras they put in elevators... It was there too.
Good thing we had paper bags over our heads, eh?

 

Paper bags without holes for eyes, right? Then there is no need to do it in an elevator, try to use those bags in the comfort of your bedroom Oh, no, elevator is better -- no chance to get hurt yourself with furniture

 

[j/k mode on]
Paper-bag guide to women:

According to some researchers the whole female population can be divided into 4 groups. The main criteria is the number of paperbags needed to have sex with one.

Group 1 (fine women):
No paperbags needed.

Group 2 (nice body, ugly face):
One paperbag needed (for her).

Gruop 3 (not so nice a body):
Two paperbags needed (both for her and you)

Group 4 (for desperated only):
Additional paperbag needed for your dog (lest it should lose respect for his owner).
[j/k mode off]

 

I sang to a paperclip Because I was high :/

 

I humped your mom because that's how I roll

 

I humped the Computer because I was Drunk..... :?

 

I had sex with a stuffed animal because because I was high, the voices told me to, and I'm sexy and I do what I want.

Damned shirt...........

 

LOL rainer

I shot my dog Because that's how I roll.

...which apparantly makes my day+month the same as Broz.
Cheers man