If you stare WBFH net pages for few years you might see fhl 1.60 appear suddenly..... But still no boat? Nice ass tho
Definition of bravery. True bravery is arriving home late after a boy's night out, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask..... "Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere"?
Little Johnny's next door neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wisecrack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbours. He said, "Now, son...that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behaviour and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank your butt when we get back home." "I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny. At the neighbour's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at it's mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother, who had braced herself for Johnny's comment, was pleasantly surprised and said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why, just look at his pretty little eyes! Did his doctor say he can see good?" The mother a bit bewildered, hesitantly replies "Why, yes... His doctor said he has 20/20 vision, why do you ask?" Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a good thing, cause he'd be stuffed if he needed to wear glasses"
A man goes to see Mel Gibson's new movie, The Passion of Christ, and is inspired to take his family to Israel to see the places where Jesus lived and died. While on vacation, his mother-in-law dies. An undertaker in Tel Aviv explains that they can ship the body home to Wisconsin at a cost of $10,000 or the mother-in-law could be buried in Israel for US $500. The man says, "We'll ship her home." The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here." The man says, "Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
LITTLE BILLY ON GETTING OLDER Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." "Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fucking business!!" LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little BILLY. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking." LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father." "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY. "But that's right!" says his dad. "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the fucking difference?" asks the father? "That's what I said!" LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful." Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob." LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on little BILLY. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful."
Subject: The Lone Ranger The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honour of the Buffalo Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?" The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse." The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?" The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver againr eturns, this time with a voluptuous brunette,even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. "What is your last request?" The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse....alone." The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent. Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says, "READ MY LIPS". I said, "BRING POSSE!".
not sure if any of you folks heard or readthis, but i got a chuckle out of it. One time I had Deja Vu and amnesia at the same time......I had the funny feeling that I'd never been here before bullet
These days I am finding food has replaced sex..... ....now I can't even get into my pants. The reason sex slows down after you get married is because then you are related.
there's a guy named ron drinking in his pub; it's one of those slow days sound of opening doors, somebody comes in, ron turns his head and he sees that person .. it is duck he thinks "wtf?!" duck comes to bar and says: "heya john"; barman replies like it would be routine: "hi billy, as always?" "ya," replies duck barman gives him quickie, duck toss it off and leaves .. ron is still stuck in that "wtf" feeling... well after a while he asks barman in that insecure manner: "hey john, have you seen that?" "what?" "that guy" "ah, yup, that's billy" since ron is quite drunken and bit confused, he decides not to ask any more next day he's in pub again and.. all is repeating billy the duck enters the pub, drinks his quickie and leaves ron shouts firmly to barman : "he's duck!" "ya, he is.. and what?" replies barman, obviously missing ron's point "wtf is he doing here?" says ron with that .. with soft tinge of hysteria barman gives ron slow-witted look and says in explanatory way: "he's working for Frank at that construction across the street" "eh?.... ok," ron shakes his head in confusion next day follows the same pattern again this time ron accosts billy "hey man, you're duck," he tells him "well yeah,.. i'm," responds billy "what are you doing here?" ron continues "i'm working at construction across the street" "come with me to cirkus, ..we can make money, fucking lots of money," ron makes his move moment of silence follows and then billy shrugs his shoulders and says in slow-witted manner: "what would i do in cirkus.., i'm bricklayer"
Did you hear that they found a type of food which degrades a woman's sex-drive by over 95%? It's called "Wedding Cake".
An accident has happened at a construction site. Mr. Jonhson fell down the scaffolding and died instantly. Now two of his colleagues have been ordered to go to Johnson's wife and tell her what happened. They're sitting in this pick-up truck and one says to the other: "Hey man, I don't know if I can do this. I mean, Jonhson was always talking about his young wife and how happy he was she's pregnant and everything. I simply can't do this. Would you be so kind to go up to her and explain what happened? I'll wait in the car. The other guy looks at him and says: "Yeah, sure. No problem, mate.", opens the door and walks towards Johnson's house. Ten minutes later he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer. His mate opens up the car-doors and shouts: "Hey, where'd you get the beer?" "Simple! I knocked on the door and when mrs. Johnson opened up I asked her: "Excuse me, are you the widow of Mr. Johnson?" she replied: "No, I'm not. My husband is still alive" "I'll bet you a six-pack of beer that you're wrong!"
This threas is dyin, so an old joke to revive it: Computer-Expo panel discussion, Linus Thorvald discusses with CO's of Microsoft about the future of operating systems when Lara Croft enters the room armed to the teeth an furious: Lara: "Which of you lame bastards is Linus Thorvald?" MS CO's, satisfied and happy point the fingers at Linus Lara reloads UZI and asks: "Hit the ground Linus if you wan't to survive"
Kid goes to sunday school, after class, the teacher asks if any of the kids know a relegious figure that they live with. One boy says his uncle is a priest, One girl says her mom is a missionary. After a while, a boy slowly raises his hand.....the teacher calls on him and says "Yes, Billy, who do you know..." the boy hesitantly says "Jesus, Jesus Christ, He lives in our bathroom!" Everyone laughs and then the teacher calls for silence.....She asks "Billy, why do you say Jesus, lives in your bathroom?" the boy says "This morning, before church, my dad pounded on the bathroom door and yelled 'Jesus Christ! Are you still in there!?' P.S. I still dont see the ship in that picture! I mean, theres the hot chick, but then what?
doctor prescribed to patient twelve anal suppositories for his haemorrhoids. two days later patient comes in for another dozen, and doctor gives it. the same in another two days. when patient came fourth time, doctor asks: -gosh, what are you doing with them so fast? are you devouring them? patient sarcastically answers: -no-o. I STUFF THEM IN MY ASS!
