Unpublished article submitted to Editor, No Time Left Magazine, in December, 2001, the day I left professional Journalism and became a bum. ----------------------- UNTITLED It would be so easy for some organized extremists [Editor's advice; Muslims, biles, they are MUSLIMS, ARABS - do you want to KEEP your job?] who wish to bring defeat and punishment onto [let's face it] the First World. And the fuckers could do it without using overt violence. Right now, as it stands, extremists have pretty well made Mass Transit into a "protective" domain of it's host nation's military industrial complex. Military isn't a great profit maker and we are very liable to see the collapse of an industry we [in the First World] took for granted like we take reliable electricity and plumbing for granted. Extremists [NAME THEM, BILES!!] have made it possible for entire systems to flail about like salted slugs . I once almost killed a dog by opening one of those Quick Opening umbrellas. That dog freaked right out! I scared him so bad. I had the thing sort of pointed in his direction when I popped it open and when I lifted it up, I saw that dog on the ground having a fuckin siezure! It was my sister's dog, a [one of those fuckin Giant Poodle-Lookin things, word similar to bullion or buglione or something, I forget, anyways, this Giant Poodle-Lookin dog]... OH, A 'Bouvier!!!' Yeah, in the old days, they were used to hunt deer and were housed in Estates D'estats in Old France, before all the nobility was killed and their dogs roasted up real good [MUCH better than bread but they make a lot of noise while being prepared for dinner]! Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, I made a huge fearless dog go fuckin epilectic with a harmless movement. Now, this gets me to thinkin... We are all led to believe by the [deleted] press/media that we should keep an eye out for suspicious extremist individuals and watch for packages [placed by extremeists] alone on a bus or subway or train or in a lobby of some building even. We are led to believe by the [deleted] press/media that bombs [bio poisons, chemical substances, etc] are the danger, bombs [etc] are Great De-stablizers. Well, let me tell you poor dupes THAT IS A FUCKIN LIE!: Our reactions to threats are what are counted on as de-stablizers. Just like that dog. We get shut down and go epileptic when we see a fuckin umbrella open. It is at that instant, we are eminently cookable, just like those dogs. Now, if it is merely the reaction that counts, rather than what brings a reaction on, couldn't People Who Wish The Destruction Of 'The First World' [ed: Muslims, biles, DO AS YOU ARE TOLD! Tell THE TRUTH!!] tone down the violence and tend more toward things like that umbrella? No, I am fuckin serious. I saw at a joke shop, not long ago, a little package containing Latex Fake Semen. Yep, for five bucks I coould have bought these semi clear whitish cloudy gobs of knotted gobs of Latex Fake Semen. I mean, this stuff looked like a twelve year old boy was away from supervision for the first time in a month and had two minutes alone. Now, for five bucks, buy some of that fake semen and then go to a train station. Find interesting places to put the stuff. Don't overdo it or the 'First World' people will catch on and it won't work. Just like the dog only havin a siezure once or twice [a year later I tried it for fun and that dog flipped out again.....]. I have seen entire huge places be shut down because some kid let off a small gas producing thingie or lit a bag of dog shit on fire by the back entrance and then pounded on the door. Okay, the fake semen appeals to me because I have a somewhat icky sense of humour. There is fake latex poop anyone can get for a couple dollars and same with fake latex vomitus. And it people are not easily fooled due to the lack of HORRIBLE STINK accompanying these fakes, well, that is easily enough fixed, but, for FUCK's sake DON'T get any on ya or the dogs will find you very quickly when the cops show up and those dogs AIN'T prone to umbrella conniptions and will bite your balls off. Stuff that looks like blood when it is mixed with water accompanied by latex finger and penis lookin things, floating in toilets in Airports and Train Stations are very effective at shutting down entire sections of First World towns and cities. Put some baby powder into a little envelope. Make sure you have a baby with you, in case you get caught by The Dogs - and you will have an explanation [and your explanation will ONLY WORK ONCE and after that, you will be on The Queen's Cowboys' Shit List forever after]. After changing the baby's diaper, leave the envelope full of 'powdery substance' [make sure it is "New Unscented!" brand] in the public washroom of the LARGE VEGAS hotel you are stayin in or the Airport Outside London. Oh, and make sure you are one of those people who can lie like a weasel, 'cause Cops ain't ALL stupid [in fact, it is the opposite, they is pretty smart, the personality flaws they have are what MAKES them into cops - see Ronin's threads about Fist Fighting Goons Thrown Together Into Pits For Money]. Now, thing that can make these provocative actions all regrettable is the fact, His Honour doesn't give a shit about your intent to cause a little tiny bit of trouble [public nuisance]. He is concerned about you CAUSING THE WHOLE EAST END OF TOWN to shut down for thirty hours while local 'Bio-Waste Consultants' figure out what the horrible stink was at three schools, a train station and the Univesity Library [5 dead chickens]. You may wind up the only person in Gitmo serving a 500 year sentence after Not Actually Doing Anything Overtly Dangerous. And if you are not 'One Of Them' [ed: muslim!!] you will be ass fucked for 500 years. Hell, even if you ARE 'One Of Them,' you are liable to be ass fucked UNLESS [see Ronin's threads about Fist Fighting Goons Thrown Together Into Pits]. Find a used, ten year old laptop computer. Make it say something wierd when the lid is flipped open. Something like, Base base base base base base base base base base base base base base base base base base You have no chance to survive make your time and then leave it somewhere, behind a garbage can or under something. Backpacks are pretty good...... When I was a kid, I brought a bag full of nasty shit my mom's boyfriend brought from a shop he worked at, to school. The plan was to rig the bag so it would burst when the janitor opened a door to the furnace room thingie. [Okay, this was in 1973] can you guess what happenned? All the kids were in class and we didn't hear a thing about it. At 10:00 in the morning, there was a chemical smell by the gymnasium in the hall. But no teachers or cops or even the janitor seemed to give a fuck. What do you think the reaction would be NOW??????? Those fuckin terrorists [ed: muslims!!!!] are already beating The First World. And they don't really NEED to kill anyone now that they did New York and Bali and London and Ten Places In Spain and five hundred places in Russia. All those terrorists need now is latex vomit and some fast working umbrellas. [Uh, oh. Do you think I gave any terrorist [ed: muslim!!!!] any ideas? [See Tom Clancy's Books - ALL OF THEM -what a cocksucker that guy is, and STUPID?????] [Ed: Be careful, biles. We market Mr Clancy's books worldwide, he helps PAY YOUR BILLS! And what is this shit you are blanking out and substituting 'deleted press/media' for? What are you trying to say, biles? I think I know. Do you want to KEEP your job? be fucking careful, boy!] scrawled on bottom of submission envelope, returned to Editor UNCORRECTED Fuck you. I quit!
