Dear Reader, In your undoubtedly extensive internet forum carreer you've surely come across numerous different types of posters. It is not my intention to sum all these up, and the last thing I want is some of these types being sad because they feel left out. No, instead, I will enlighten you with what I like to call "The Unified Theory of Internet Forums". The easiest way to start this off is by trying to get you to imagine a picture. Imagine, you're casually scrolling through the Magnificent Boards of Banter and absolute uncut Truth when all of a sudden ... your nostrils are tickled by the most horrible of scents. You, the Guardian of all that is Good and Factual on the forums are swiftly on your way to get to the root of this. After alot of scrolling and clickety-clicking your mood clears up, your jaw relaxes again and a feeling of utmost joy rolls over you... Why is this? Because you found out that nothing is wrong in the Magnificent Boards of Banter and absolute uncut Truth... or is there? You suddenly become nauseous when the smell intensifies, after a quick recovery you find yourself staring at nothing less than a mere mortal who refuses to accept the uncut Truth as preached by your fellow Guardians of all that is Good and Factual. This, of course, is unacceptable! And it's the idea behind all this that forms the very basis of The Unified Theory of Internet Forums. The Unified Theory of Internet Forums is very easy. But it's tricky, it's as easy to forget, as to remember! The details needn't worry you, mere mortals like yourself wouldn't understand them anyway, but the basis comes down to this: Opinions are for wussies, real men only work with arguments! Only pansies and pussies love touch the subject of the gooey pink one! Yes, the dreaded subject of Politics, Religion, Ideology, Ethics, etc... The Topics without Reason or Argument! So, beware, for every Magnificent Board of Banter and absolute uncut Truth will fall victim to the hordes and hordes of trolls that enjoy dragging you into an endless pansy argument! I will follow up this initial encounter with The Unified Theory of Internet Forums on how one should act accordingly to it! In the meanwhile, go, my disciples, and spread your arguments and facts, share your numbers and calculations, and most of all, agree with each other! <Z>
Now, It is clear my young ones that there is no simple solution to a problem like this. So, to keep it understandable I introduce the Fractional Solution. This solution in essence is very simple. In the War on Arguments the Subversive Troll will tend to pull the discussion to his own playground. At that level he has complete control over the discussion because he is experienced enough to use opinions and anything but arguments to preach the good of his own belief. Do not be fooledhowever! The Subversive Troll must die. It is for his own good, and for the good of the nations of China, Pakistan and Transnistria. So, I offer you the Fractional Solution. This solution relies on unorthodox methods, it requires a complete dedication to the cause of the Guardians of all that is Good and Factual. When one of these Subversive Trolls starts trolling, be sure to use logic as your only friend. Any ideal will at some point contradict itself, there you can grab him by the balls (as RolandGarros would love to, he seems to have a fixation on balls). So, you knight in the order of Guardians of all that is Good and Factual have your first method in rooting out the ploy of the Subversive Trolls. Beware of not being outnumbered, for in such cases you will have to resort to the obvious, the Tactic of Dismay. This tactic encompasses some basic elements in Forum Warfare. It comes down to the following; you will try to cause as much grief to the trolls as possible. How you can do this is by taking the personal route, or, by contradicting them, by attacking their points of view. You must strike swiftly and powerfully right into the core of their very being! Fear not, the stench is only temporarily, and the trolls are known to retreat when they no longer outnumber the Guardians of all that is Good and Factual. That is the lesson for today. Maybe this will not suffice, and maybe I will have to follow up with addition unorthodox methods against Subversive Trolls. Trolls... we are watching you. <Z>
I saw many Trolls on forums. They invent stupid topics and likes to watch when people kills each other with arguments and counter-arguments
