You are all wrong. The real end of all times will start in 2010 when The God will get stomach problem and produce extremely venomous fart... all will die in pain and suffocation. But this is not the end yet. THE END will happen when one of the dieing smokers (smoking kills much faster!) will lit his Zippo... and at exactly that moment all that left will realize that The Heavenly Fart is as extremely flammable as venomous. And THE BIG BANG will happen, and the old universe will be evaporated. Didn't you know that the big bang was the heavenly fart detonation?!
And who is talking about the end of the world? Not me.Haven't mankind survived this phenomena for hundereds / thousands of times?
Maybe hundreds of thousands of years even, but then the Church Police would lose their standings if that were to be common knowledge.
I hope not... it's my birthday, the 34th on that date... could you please arrange the end of the world to take place some date after that... possibly the 22nd, when I'll be suffering from birthday hangover? Please
That would show uncanny resemblance to the start of 'Hitchikers guide...' books though. Remember your towel!
Why should I? With my sort of luck I would end up as a crashed whale in the middle of a desert anyway
2012, the end of the world or simply when the tin-foil supplies start to run low? Whatever will the loons do, put a faraday device on their heads? (Invest in copper wiring!)
My calender is only 365 days long. An odometer in a car only counts to 999,999 Km or 9,999,999 Km or 99,999 Km, if it is a Renault. Dad, what is gonna happen after Dec 31? Easy, son, we stick another calender up there. But dad, after four years, the calender is out of synch, what will we do then? Easy, son, we just roll it forward 1 day. Every fourth year we do that. Dad, why is Christmas in December for some people and it is in January for others? Good question, son. There was once a Roman who was slated to assume office on a certain day and he couldn't force himself to wait. So he changed the calendar. Time: Mankind's failure to ken it won't end it. And fiddling the numbers won't change anything but our squiggly lines we like to divine the heavens with, call down demons and determine The End Is Nigh. We make faces and funny noises stick out our tongues and think we have influence on cosmic movements, or God's ear. Humans still bash each others heads in. But dad, what will we do when the heavens are rent and fiery stones and mountainous chunks of ice pour down from above and roasts us, pummel us, create continent sized tsunamis and destroy civilization? Not a thing, son. Not a fucking thing.
The one the frogs invented way back during one of their numerous "France Is Revolting [they certainly are......]" times, some frogs invented a kind-of decimal calender. 10 Months or whatever the decided to call them. 35 days each, I believe. the extra 15 days were to be a big holiday at the end of the year, or something. Wasn't too bad an idea, if you ask me. But because they chopped their king's head off it was decided that calender was not good. For some reason we still got metric though [which is a good thing, right?].
For all we know it could have gone down like this: "Hello, is this Metaxl Slate and Limestone Works?" "Yes, Metaxl, here." "Yeah, this is Joe Texlatak at the Calender Shoppe. I need to order some slabs for calenders, what's kind of deal can I get?" "16 slates for 256 Quatlupies, three weeks delivery." "256 Quatlz, Jeeeesus and friggin' three weeks? I got a rush job, that royal soothsayer's buggin' me something awfull. You gotta do better than that. What else yah got?" "Well things are kind of slow right now as we sold out on account of the last sacrifices, you remember all those vanquished enemy royals last month?" "Oh yeah, all those hearts pulled out just before the losing ball team was executed. Quite a spectacle, my kids were there, great game too." "Well we can clean up all the blood and bone chips on those sacrifice slates and have them delivered in two days for you." "..and how much..?" "I got 12 good ones that will clean-up nice and you can have them for 150 Q." "No deal. You know how picky that soothsayer is. He sees or smells any infidel blood and there's bound to be one more sacrifice to compensate for the disgrace and you- know-who is gonna be on that slate next..." "OK. OK. I'll have them washed down with fermented virgin piss and I'll throw-in a spare half plate on the house." "Make it two half plates. That should give me...let's see... uh.. up to 2012. Yeah that should keep that old bastard happy. I'll give you 144 Q cash on delivery, but I need them PRONTO tomorrow first thing AM BEFORE sunrise." "Deal. I'll get Twatitsquatle to bring them to you first thing sunrise." "Deal, and tell her to wear something, something nice."
You fking dorks have kid-napped my lousiest thread eva for yourselves! and I can't haldle that! I reply this once, the only once foreva, on this thread ..well anyway buzz-off! .
This may be the funniest post I've ever read on this forum. I can't stop laughin', gonna piss myself soon.
