Love me and I shalt save thou. You will sit next to my left knee and deliver prizes and punishments to my subjects. Thou alone will be allowed to touch lips to my left hand. Your children shall receive my blessing and live an epoch. They will be kings among the mortals and their children will be kings. They will convert millions to my subjects. They will have golden thrones.
(Your inquiry for details duties and benefits related to sex was passed to our employment department. Please, bear with us for a moment. ta-na-ni-na-na)
the following reply was issued: What a silly question, o mortal! Of course you will have free sex - this is integral part of your PR! In the form of a bull with women specificly selected by our priest service (a very skilled experts, I could quote!). Your orgasm will continue a month. Your semen will drown a village. The weak mortal women, of course, will not survive through your desires. But in the other light they will join your heavenly harem. Your children, as said, will be kings and heroes of great standing among men. Sometimes, however, you will be obliged to make sex in the woods with virgins who had pregreater love to the Heavens and inseminate them on my behalf. In the form of a swan. So that after 9 years of pregnancy they bear semigods. Does this reply satiate you? There are a myriad other small details and duties on sex, but we will present them in the full text of the contract to sign.
