The brits are truly fucked

.... in the head. Take a look at this shit

 

It hurts no one - actually quite the contrary as they raise charity for heathcare - so why not? Who cares if they masturbate at home between sheets or in some group event.

World is full of wars, abuse and stuff, but ppl are shocked by few brits jerking off.

 

HEY!
Biles just has to comment about this!


Nah.

 

Well, this is an orgy of hatred and stupidity Why the fuck should anyone masturbate if it is so easy to find a partner for nice, healthy, tasty, gorgeous, delicious, brain-burning, crazy sex?! Really, I don't get it

Another option is an attempt to self declare for those, who is so ugly that cannot find a fuck-friend (those that prefered individual rooms) or those, who suffers exhibitionistic itch (mixed rooms)... well, then it is a good cause.

 

ah fuck, what do I care anyway...

 

Agree.

 

I'm sure that there will be a sign on the front door that says "ALL COMERS WELCOME"

Sorry, it was a poor attempt at humour

 

lmfao

@ illo, not shocked mate, that shit made me laugh lmao. Me and my mates always joke around in front of our girls about having a multiway jerk off competition, but to see it in the papers is just fukin hilarious lmao.

@ biles, i bet you want to comment... lol. Ive read ur stories before about gettin busted. And u were the 1st person i thought of lmao. Tell the truth, uve already got ur plane ticket booked lol

 

Hmm, tell me where it's so easy to find such accommodating ladies!

I'm ugly.

hehe

 

There are some useless taboos we have.

If you lived in Riyad and saw a article posted in The Times Of Riyahd:
"Pork Tossing Festival, Come One Come ALL! Bring your pet dog!" there would be a collective shit fit among good Arabs and a call to quiet those people down and put a stop to sinners who dare to toss pork and keep pet dogs.

Or an Eating With Right Hand festival in Saudi Arabia!
hehe.

A seal flipper feast in greenwich Village [BABY seal flippers; the most tender and succulant of all flippers come from freshly clubbed babies].

Attend a GOP [Republican Party - USA] Fund Raising Barbecue: bring a freshly butchered poodle, cut professionally at a Dog Butchershop. Bring some calves brains. And a Chef's salad of dandelion greens, vingar and lard.
Charbroil some puppy legs. Ask passerby if they would like some calf brains and a plate of salad. See how long you can stay.

Wear a fox fur hat to a anti-whaling protest. Speak Cree. Offer passerby strips of fressh-killed Caribou.

Light a cigarette in the underground parking beneath city hall. Light the cigarette while standing next to the mayor's running llimosine. Make sure you cough heartily. People driving by will phone the cops and complain about your smoke.

Use torture while interrogating captured terrorists.

Tell a Jew Joke in public, use a megaphone. Do it on the lawns in front of Congress in Washington DC.

Go into a shop and, when welcomed in Shcwarzinezzenessenski, and ancient language from the steppes past the mountains in Shangrila, shout, LOUD:
"SPEAK ENGLISH YOU COCKSUCKER!"


And by the same token it seems okay to

Tell a polite Jehova's Witness to "Go fuck yourself you devil worshipping freak!"

Tell a Jew joke in Basra, in front of City Hall even!

Exceed the posted speed limit because "Everyone sailing by me was sounding their horns and giving me the finger!"

get roaring drunk as fast as you can and vomit while naked in The Plaza but ONLY during Mardi Gras in Montenegro. DON'T do that at any other time. At any other time, it is a sin to be naked on the street Montenegro.

It is okay to visit your doctor, whine and bitch [and even tell some lies] so you can get a four pack of viagra to "help get it up when The One ugly is frisky." [but it isn't okay to go visit The dealer and get a chunk of hash 'to help get it up with The Ugly One is frisky."]

Don't stand by The Thames and take a piss. Use a urinal.

-----------------------------------------------------

What the fuck. So some men in England want to get together to try something most of them haven't gotten to do since they were 12 years old:
"While down at the tree-fort, Billy hauled out his pecker and challenged the other boys to see who could 'spew jism' the fastest."
Don't try and tell me it was "an older and caring woman who showed me how..."

There are millions of people who do not get to try otherwise harmless diversion because they are screamed at by
Religion.
Press.
PC types.
Current Fad Following Fuckers.

It is a bunch of adult "tree fort" boys gathering for a group wank.
Big Fucking Deal.



I know a woman who is a 'housekeeper' in a big fancy Hyatt Hotel.
She says she has seen people doing the wierdest things. She also says if people knew how many people are exebitionists and have kinky practices, the Idiot Press and Papists and Islamists etc would be Screaming for blood
exactly the same way being done to dope smokers and Seal Hunters, Loggers and Hunters, Muslims.... advocates for Legalised Prostitution, women demanding the right to expose their chests [men get to, why can't women? I wouldn't give a fuck. You seen one, you seen em both - it wouldn't shock after the first few views].

Fuckin manipulated sheep.

Addendum

Of course, I masturbate. I am a man.
However, I don't do it at work. I have others ways of wasting my time while being paid.
That story was semi fiction. I hope you understand. I wanted to write about something to make my compatriots here cringe.
Most of us have been 'busted' and much of learning about sex and The Other Things is all about one's society's taboos:
When to hide.

There is lots in The Press and other forms of Mass Media about lesbian Love and Anal Sex and Oral Sex and Straight Sex and Gay Sex and Tran-Genders and Bull Dykes and Cross Dressing and Peeing etc.
But there is little or nothing about The M Word.
Why the hell is that?
It is okay to publicly exclaim the benefits, the pleasure and The Right Of The People to stick their cocks into a filthy anus and pull it out covered with shit. THAT is called Gay Sex. And the Gay Types have made damned sure we are fed it, night and day, that we cannot get away from it, it is even on Prime Time and the Front Page.
But the only time the M word is mentioned in media is when the M thing is being done by a "Dangerous Pedophile Outside A School Yard" or a "Man Exposing Himself [M word]ing In The [parking lot - Theater - Shopping Mall - Subway].
When I was a boy and was busted, you should have heard the screams! But a few months later, I broke a boy's face after school and I got a "Well Done" from the men in the family.
Hmmmm.

Did you know there are cultures on this planet where sexual behavior is encouraged, nudity is The Norm. Homosexuals are tolerated without a thought, children engage in whatever pleases them etc and
Rape Is Generally Unknown! [although, let's face it, there are men everywhere who enjoy enslaving smaller people by using violence, right? No race of people is excempt from the folly of violence and subjugation of The Weak]
No one steals bread when their bellies are full: Right?
WTF?

Sometimes I hate mankind with all my being. Sometimes I despise this foolish thing so much I wish I wasn't born. There is so much denied us for stupid or no reason.

 

[deleted - and appended to the above rant]
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There are loads of "mating" forums, web pages... First you learn to find ways of communication, next you evaluate, what women like, then you sort off those latent prostitutes (doing anything for something) and religious zombies. Stupid ones should be phased out as well -- less problems. The rest are ready for a good sex (otherwise they would never appear on the page) The rest is your charm, delicacy, wisdom (not too much in order not to make her feel stupid), and carelessly hidden will to fuck

If you start with this, you hang a poster "HIT ME!" on your back A well measured but sound self respect is a must Women feel that

 

did u know that in usa the 'centre of freedom in world' it is illegal to own weapon grade uranium?

i mean uranium is the same stuff as table salt

sum protons
sum neutrons
sum electrons

or on mor basic level they are both form of energy

but uncle sam says u can have 'sum energy but not others'

i challenge any1 to tell me the difference between a salt proton and a uranium proton

they cant

 

Weapons grade tits would be good though

 

Now, we're both old timers, so we both know that it isn't always so easy For example, this weekend I have a date with an American lady who is actually older than I. For ten years I have not dated/had sex with an American woman, so I'm looking for a big party, lol.

In reality I'm too often a gentleman, and overly polite. That many times has ruined my chances

That is true

 

This is gonna explode the myth of the "lonely masturbator."

 

You are absolutely true about ruining chances If you know a problem, then fight it! Politeness is fine, but it should be appropriate. I am sure you know who is poruchik Rzhevsky Of course not to that level, but this is a direction to improve First of all I never try to be good (saying good bye women often start with "you are so good" ) Trying to get in touch I very quickly come to a rhetoric question: "Do you know what do all men want? " Then I say that I am not an exception. Later I may switch to some neutral conversation just to return to the issue, trying to understand, how does she looks at that "nasty" habit of men to see a sexual partner in any woman. Going on I explain that men's sexuality is not a sin or will to dominate a woman, but is a best kind of complement and flattery, seeing her beatiful face and her gorgeous body And, of course, you must like her, otherwise words may be stuck in your throat. Believe what you say, she must see your words in your eyes Be always 100% cincere. Don't hope for 100% success (important)! If you fail with this one, never show that you don't care, you have to regret that you miss that beautiful woman. Learn more, study women psychology, notice what they like and what do not and with time you will select, not they As to me, this is wonderful and extremely thrilling science Because if you treat them good, they are angels And be careful, it is more than enough one woman to make your life heaven or hell

 

Stop the cornyness.

 

Fuck pursuing women. I haven't pursued women for many many years.
They are not a commodity. men who think they are are suckers with wallets full of money and for every one of those "buy you a drink" guys there is a woman who will drink all the free drinks and eat all the meals and watch all the shows and she will have a little bird brain telling her how valuable she is. In MY society, her, I Canada, or The West [perhaps] MANY women are worthless, vacuous cunts with a prcie tag on their asses.

The woman I have In My House ALL THE FUCKIN TIME, is sorta like a guy with a cunt and tits. She enjoys using a shovel and swears like a sailer and fights. She tells dirty jokes and knows the difference between a Dodge and a Chrysler.
I like men more than I like women, BY FAR. However, I don't enjoy fucking men, so I am stuck with women to do that stuff with. The closest I have found to a woman who I can be comfortable with is THIS ONE.
I don't have to 'treasure her' or 'learn about her likes and dislikes' and patronize her like she was a fucking spoiled, sensitive child.
She says the worst movie she EVER saw was "On Golden Pond." She says the most horrifying music act is Jennifer Lopez. She can light a campfire in five minutes, has NEVER fluttered her eyelashes, NEVER, not once, in her whole life.
And she tells loud loud people who talk TOO LOUD on the busses and subways [Chinks and Pinos, they talk loud - VERY loud] to "Shut The Fuck UP You Loudmouthed CHINK!"
If she hasn't anything to eat, she won't phone a man and tell him she is 'Available' on Friday evening [and cajole a trip to Granville Ilsand Farmer's Market (Ooooh, it is SO fashionable! ALL the BEST people go there, like Paris Hilton and Jennifer Lopez and Matt Dillon and Brad Pitt!!! We should TOO! Can we skip seeing Phantom Of The Opera and go to the Farmer's Market instead?
And knowing full well she will be sent home with a grocery bag containg those tiny chicken-looking birds wrapped in a pastry and ten grams of Saffron and potatoes that cost more than beef! And then she will reject the guy when he starts rubbing her, she will say, "Don't do THAT. Do you think I am made for Just One Thing? Take me home, now. NOW (the paper bags are FULL of aperagus and quail eggs and belgian Chocolate)]
Nope, I HATE women like that and I would MUCH rather masturbate than seperate the Obvious Whores from the Less Obvious ones (most of them).

Mine is priud of herself, but for mostly NOT stupid reasons. She is proud she can light a camp fire. She is proud and walks at night when perhaps she shouldn't. But I cannot stop her. She says she would rather die than stay inside like someon'es fuckin Faberge Jewelled Eggie thingie.

A jewelled whore:


My woman:


I would be gay if I liked men's bodies, which I don't really. I like to put my pecker in a women body, but I cannot STAND keeping company with useless bitches...
I find the male company I keep are somewhat less than useless [with notable exceptions] but they are none of them, women, so we don't fuck. The one woman I fuck is One Of The Guys.
I wish more women were made like her.

Fuck. My woman don't even swallow her horkers. She spits em out. And she doesn't wait to fart. And she laughs outloud, souds a bit like a horse, even. Many women are so fuckin terrified someone might smell an arm-pit or see the piece of spinach in between her front teeth - image, like they spend their entire lives on a sales floor.

Imagine if ALL men you saw, everywhere, were like George Cluny. One face, one expression [wouldn't want to wreck all the botox, would we?]. Imagine if men spent every waking moment POSING.
Would you like to hang out with them if they were little pretty posers?

Okay then, why seek women who are little anorexic tooth fairies with a thousand dollars worth of cosmetics in the bathroom, carryin 'emergency emolients' in their purse and does not DARE go ot tonight "because of the zit I have, here. It is ruining MY LIFE!"

I would rather jerk off than seek 'ladies' and pay with my self respect, my dignity, my pride, and suck up to a worthless ,Queen's English sounding, bulemic waif who will just turn into an ugly old boot once past thirty and Kid Number Three and Hamburger Number 5000. IF she even has the STRENTH to bear children she will hold off becuase "I don't want to ruin my figure" - and say it while working on a Baskin Robbin's Duble Dipper - thinking about sipping grasshopers at a night club and seeing the latest Swedish film at The Festival...
[do you know why it is so fashionable for The Fashionable to ADOPT? It is because the dieting has ruined the reproductive VIABILITY of the overpriced whore]

I told all this stuff to The Woman Who Is Always Here just after we met.
And she answered with - Hey, wanna fuck?

Find a woman who will fix cars with you for an extra buck. Find a woman who will sit and drink beer with you and wrestle in the grass out back. Find a woman who isn't afraid of mice.
You won't regret it.
[even if she has a little bit of hair on her ass]

 

biles you're a d00d with lotsa free time to type those 0.5page posts
this one me likes