Try to envision this: Why should you wrap duct-tape around a gerbil? So it won't explode when you shove your cock into it!
@ spuint, fla - relax, that post was applicable only to the people from "developed" world ; but.. eh.. we are "developing" too nowadays
Thx Glas! I knew you'd like it Sebbo, I can visualize your bearded dragon wrapped in duct tape... Poor animal...
yeah, noticed that, but there is some universal stuff; anyway, its not that we are getting older, its just our society changing, new generation and stuph... (now, thats a bullshit )
cc, exactly.. we are not getting older ........................ have I told you already story about my 1st ride on skateboard? (downhill w/o any idea how to stop the damned thing)
i have sth apprioprate for the topic and the our little problem here, a little digression: In our lifes nothing seems to be right, when it passes. Lets just say - life is hard. It takes so much time, and what we are given at the end? We just DIE! Life should go in other way! First u should die, then - from back to start! You begin with peaceful time at the retirment. When you go to work u are given a gold watch. U work about 40ty yrs - just to time when u are young enough. Then u are ready for studies - u start to drink alcohol, take drugs, go to parties. Then u go to highschool, and elementary school, ur gettin childish, playing all the day, u loose all responsibilities, u sleep more and more everyday, and last 9 months u are swimming in friendly environment, just to end ur life with an orgasm... whats the story?
What (not) to do when watching LOTR Return of the King Going off subject a little but as I'm seeing the film tomorrow night I foiund this quite humourous: When you pay for your ticket hold your money up and yell "FOR GONDOR!!!!!!" Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" When Elrond appears on screen, ask "Where's Neo?" -or- Ask people around you where all the other Elronds are Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr Anderson" In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST RUN" Make your cellphone ring at different intervals in the movie. Make sure it has a LOTR ringtone. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat. Rub your penis against the neck of the person in front hissing "my prrrrecioussss" After Return of the King, while everyone is crying and in shock, stand up and scream, "Wait a minute, was this a sequal to something? It didn't make any sense!" Everytime, when Gandalf appears on screen, shout: "Something's MAGNETIC here!!!" Very loudly say, "So if this is Middle Earth, is there a Top and Bottom Earth, or a Left and Right Earth?" If you end up seeing the extended versions of either Fellowship or Two Towers in the cinema, loudly identify all the stuff that wasn't originally in them. Whenever Legolas comes on the screen obnoxiously say to your neighbors "I like his hair! Do you like his hair? How'd he straighten it? Aww I wish I had his hair!!" When Gandalf reappears in TTT, scream atop of your lungs: "HEY! DIDNЃ?T OBIWAN DIE IN THE LAST FILM?!" Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring". Loudly ask where they found a guy that thin to play Gollum Sit next to a person who is a little on the heavy side and scream "stupid fat hobbitises" every time they go to eat something Scream "It's Peter Jackson" every time an extra is on the screen Complain loudly every time something in the movie differs from the book, and explain the difference at length to the people next to you When someone dies in slo-mo, yell, "I love bullet-time!" At the end tell people that this was the weakest Harry Potter movie so far, it was nothing like the book! After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better." ------------
Re: What (not) to do when watching LOTR Return of the King THANK YOU moolin! Had some good laughs, specially with that one.
A guy is driving along the road in his brand-spanking-top-of-the-range super Merc. This car can do everything, even voice-recognition radio. So, he's driving along the road and says 'Rock & Roll'. Chuck Berry starts blaring over the radio. Next he shouts 'Country & Western' and on comes Johnny Cash warbling like only he knows. He drives along a bit past the local school when all the kids run out for lunch, straight in to the middle of the road. The car swerves all over the place, coming to a stop on top of the pavement. 'Fucking kids' the guy mumbles to himself. 'Smooth Criminal' comes over the radio.... -glas-
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! An Englishman, a Scot and Claudia Schiffer are sitting in a train. The train enters a dark tunnel, a large "SMACK!" sounds out and as the train travels along in broad daylight, the Englishman just sits there, holding his (now red) cheek. The englishman thinks: "I guess that Scot tried to grab Claudia's naughty bits and she thought it was me." Claudia Schiffer thinks: "I guess that Englishman tried to fondle me and got the scotsman instead, who then hit him" The scotsman thinks: "Hey, this is cool! Next tunnel we enter, I'll hit that fucking Englishman even harder!"
Anyway, as it's Christmas a little fun (almost Christmas themed) game for you: http://vapaatila.net/alko/promillelukko/hutikka_v0_13.html The objective is to fit the key in the keyhole, the guage on the left is the alcholol content. Mal
A man marries a deaf girl. He mimes: "let's make a code: if I want sex,I will squeeze your breast. In response, you can pull my penis once for Yes, and 50 times for No" John asks his grandpa: "Do you still have sex with Granny?" Grandpa says: "Yes, but only Oral". John says: "what is oral?" Grandpa: "I say Fuck you, and she says:Fuck you too" The 3 tragedies in a man's life: 1- life sucks 2- job sucks 3- Wife does NOT! A man is dying of cancer. His son: "Dad why you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS??". Answer: "so that when I die, no one will dare to fuck your mother." "I am your Doctor. sorry to inform you that you have a brain problem. Your brain is in 2 parts... Left and right. The left part has nothing right in it, and the right has nothing left in it" YESTERDAY NEWS: A nun jogging in the park was raped. TODAY'S NEWS: Hundreds of nuns are jogging in the park! Question: "Why is a waist called a waist?" Answer: "because anything above the pussy and below the tits is a waste" A lady tells her Man: "I demand good manners in bed, just like at the dinner table".The man climbs into bed slowly and says: "Honey, would you please pass me the vagina?" Question: "what's the similarity between a good-looking, faithful, rich husband who satisfies his wife sexually every night and Bin Laden?" "BOTH CANNOT BE FOUND" Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage as they finally realised with wisdom that for 60 grams of sausage, it is not worth buying the whole pig.
This one is a little early. It's about "new-year-promises" - January without booze Just press the blue square and control your urge to drink with arrow keys(up,down,left and surprisingly right... ) http://www.koti.org/aleksi/tammiquu/ airfax ps. I survied about 14 days
